I have many homes. The home I grew up in. Where I have lived overseas, I call home. More recently, home is in a tent with my partner, where we pitch it.
Where home is is a question I’ve been asked and wrestled with consciously and unconsciously for what feels like the last 7 years. Here is what I’ve uncovered.
Home is with people who feel like home. Whether we’ve just met or it’s a loved, familiar face. It’s an intangible connection that makes me feel settled, unfiltered, close.
Home is connection with place or land. Sometimes I’ve driven through somewhere that feels way more like home than the place I actually lived. I feel quietly taken aback by beauty in the land, body of water or buildings and feel inspiration that’s grounding and calming.
Some homes I’ve felt an instant ease and belonging to. Some homes I’ve had to build and toil to cultivate them into some likeness of home. Those places helped me understand how slowly roots can take to grow and grab the soil. And even though it doesn’t look like positive movement, a home can be grown over time.
In all of these places I have felt settled, and then restless. The people come and go, leaving holes in my heart. The weather changes. The mosquitoes come. The road gets dull. The patterns of life become repetitive. I pack my bags and leave. Before long, I look back and miss my home. Miss the familiar people, the weather, the road and simple patterns. Looking forward to the day when I can go and breathe them all in again. In hindsight, there were elements of home there all along.
I think sometimes my definition of home has been so small. I often felt like I couldn’t find belonging in one or a deep sense. My perspective is still widening, but I’m realising there are pockets of home everywhere. In land. In people. In connection. In food. In weather. In life. Not all homes have roofs. And though I have had a habit of leaving them, I’m learning home can be found or built everywhere. I have many of them, like Monopoly game property, stored up in my heart.
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