Regrets from my 2-year working holiday visa
It’s hard to put roots down in a place you know you’ll be ripping them out again. Should I buy a car, invest in new friendships, or stock up on adventure gear? These are questions I asked myself over and over again during my two-year working holiday visa in Canada. Looking back on the two years, I’ve got some wisdom to pass on from my handful of regrets.
Friendships:
When my partner and I arrived in Canada and started settling in a small mountain town, we were constantly asked the question, “How long are you staying?” “I don’t know”, I answered thousands of times, thinking it was cool to be loosey goosey but didn’t realise it was actually a deterrent. For a ski resort town with a high turnover of seasonal workers, that answer was enough to close the doors to potential friendships with those living here long term. Understandably locals can be cautious about making new connections, knowing almost inevitably new comers will be leaving soon. We did end up staying in the same spot for two years after all. I remember seeing a local girl again months after we first met and had the “how long are you staying conversation”. She saw me surprised, “Ris, you’re still here!?” I was bummed I missed out on the opportunity to be friends with her and give her confidence to invest in me all this time. Those first 8 months I struggled to make friends.
What I’d do differently:
Commit to being planted for a while and communicate that with others. Two years, although it feels quick, is still a good amount of time to enjoy friendships. One trick I learnt to help my situation sound more stable and local, was if people asked me, “where are you from?”, I’d answer, “I live here”. And leave it at that.
Hobbies:
My partner is really good at bargain hunting and online shopping. He made sure the adventure drawer was stocked with gear not long after we arrived in Canada. It took me a while to realise that investing in your home, yourself, adventure activities and hobbies is important for enjoying life. If it weren’t for him and his purchasing powers that kept us in the present, I would have had a very different experience in Canada. I held back from buying so many things because all I could think was, “I’m going to have to sell this soon”, or “this won’t fit in my suitcase.” When I finally came round to enjoying myself, I’d bought a pair of ice skates at the end of my last winter here and unfortunately only got to use them once. I regret doing that now, but I regret more not buying them sooner.
What I’d do differently:
Tell myself not to live temporarily and put life and love on hold. Live in the present, with skis, skates, climbing gear, paraglider, homey plants, nice dishes and lamps and worry about selling them later.
Community:
I have friends who are excellent at signing up for volunteering opportunities. I suck at it. It’s the last thing on my mind, though I value it in my heart and know it would benefit me and the people in the place I live. Although I never sought out volunteering there were times I had an idea of starting a creative song and poetry night or finding a spot to organise inspiring wall art in town, or chat to the council about clearing a green space for a picnic table. That last one I did send an email about but the others I let lie feeling like it wasn’t worth mustering the energy because I’d be leaving soon.
What I’d do differently:
Be a part of the community. Know that whatever beauty is planted in a place brings life to others and is worth the time taken to invest.
Elderly:
The last thing I’d change, although I'm sure there are others, is having older lady friends and or mentors. I walk around in this town and see outdoor gals who are getting on in life but still killing it. Mountain biking, skiing, and backpacking. They are some of the most inspiring old people I’ve met. There are so many stories I feel like I missed out on and wisdom and inspiration from these women.
What I’d do differently:
Pursue the old gals. Ask someone out for tea. It’s simple. They could say no, or they could say yes and it could be beautiful.
So considering that fact that I may have more years ahead to redeem myself, what now? I’ve learnt life’s too short to live temporarily. The people who have the biggest impact on me are the ones who are openly passionate and active about others, and deeply present with what’s right in front of them. That’s who I aspire to be.